Who does she think she is?

Do you have an ever-present voice that reminds you of just how difficult, unusual or nonsensical something is? Is it loudest when you encounter the thoughts, plans, or things that your dreams are made of? If so, you are not alone. In fact you are in good company as most intelligent, creative, innovative individuals do.
It’s our inner critic at work. Telling us about ourselves, making sure we don’t get carried away from our comfort zone. Because after all, change and risk should be approached with extreme caution – if at all – according to the inner critic.
Here’s what I have discovered recently about my inner critic. She is very negative, dis-empowering and a total scary cat. I mean, I love her to death, because I know she means well, but at times she can really be a buzz kill. An example of my inner critic hard at work as a showstopper, literally, was during a recent work assignment. I volunteered to chair an employee day event and the task the committee accepted was to develop and execute a memorable, interactive day of fun for local employees. A part of that activity included a flash mob, and the time to pull it off, dwindled to two short weeks (partly my fault, y’all know I procrastinate from time to time…I’m a work in progress). As excited as we all were about the idea, there was a part of me and I’m sure many others, that thought the timing, communication, coordination, etc was not quite right and/or enough for it to actually work. There were times that I was pretty certain that it would be an epic fail. But I stayed committed and focused, even despite the lack of commitment from others. We ended up with several dozen participants and all who were in attendance enjoyed it. Yes, there were naysayers, but I took the risk, saw it through and no one can take the accomplishment and confidence away from me. I was elated and my inner critic and in some respects my external critics were deflated.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’ve taken my inner critic’s lead many times in the past. At times it has really felt like the responsible, safe thing to do. But, truth be told, over time I have allowed her to rob me of my confidence. So as I get to know her better, I am learning to give her, her due. Patiently and respectfully, hearing her out and with all the strength I can muster, declining her invitation (and sometimes insistence) to do nothing or travel the road of least resistance. Another coach recently shared the following advice on differentiating between the voice of the inner critic and the good old solid analytical skills: the inner critic rarely offers solutions or productive rationale; the inner critic’s job is to keep us operating in our all too familiar comfort zone. No risk, little to no reward.

How often do you encounter/engage your inner critic?

What is that special something, that your inner critic is afraid to see you bring forth?

Tamika Bowen